A Journey of Little Footsteps: What You Never Saw

I hated primary school. 

They say be careful what you wish for. 

My family lost everything.

I did not go to school for roughly a year.

I stayed home every day.

Watched everyone go to school.

All of a sudden being unhappy at school did not compare to just not being there.

Our electricity was cut.

We had no food.

Bailiffs took little of what we had left.

I hid what I thought was valuable when I heard them coming.

I hid my dog.

But today, when people see me.

They judge.

They don't know.   

What I lived.

I lived in fear of judgment.

Until I realised I was being judged.

Their judgments.............

They insulted my life and my experiences.

You have no idea.

Do not judge a book by its cover.

Till today I have never let anyone open me.

But why not, since they have made their own assumptions, but never walked in my shoes.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Walk in faith, believe in yourself and understand. Those who judge are blinded by their own thoughts.

byNL

in confidence, depression, diary, documentation, expression, faith, insecurity, island gir, leaning a lesson, life, moving on, spirituality, story, teach, Trinidad, truth

September 30, 2017

A Journey of Little Footsteps: What You Never Saw

I hated primary school.  They say be careful what you wish for.  My family lost everything. I did not go to school for...

Read More

PCOS

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

PCOS is one of the most common hormonal endocrine disorders.

It is so common, that many times people are quick to dismiss any complaints of symptoms as " Oh everyone has that, it is not a big deal."

That's pretty frustrating for someone who suffers on a daily basis, and doesn't have access to treatment or information on how to deal with this syndrome.

So if you have received that treatment from people, don't worry. They haven't experienced it, so they don't know.

One of the things that has been hardest for me dealing with PCOS was the fact that it manifested everywhere! So basically my brain fog and hormones are hitting me for six, plus I have a fuzzy layer of hair that grows on my face and I have to wax A LOT. Also, I always had a horrible problem with my weight (Thanks, PCOS). I'm not talking about having an issue just because I was overweight. I had an issue where no matter what I did, I gained weight. I'm talking about drastically cutting caloric intake and doing two hours of cardio, and not losing a single pound.

Let's just say there were many nights of tears.

One morning on my way to work, I was so ill, vomiting and dizziness..... the works. I knew things had gotten worse, but did not realise how horrible it was until I weighed myself.

In the space of three weeks, I put on 20lbs.

So I took myself to the doctor, and he put me on this magic pill called Glucophage XR (Metformin) and I decided to try and make some changes:

• Exercise 25 mins a day - (I did Shaun T's Focus T25)
• Slowly cut out all refined sugars.
• Slowly cut out refined carbohydrates.
• Ensure each meal has ample greens.
• Slowly cut out dairy 
• Increase water intake
• Decrease liquor intake.
• Slowly cut out all processed foods.
• Cut down on the amount of meat I eat.
• Decrease caffeine intake.
• Tell myself every morning "I can do this, I am strong, I am beautiful"

Now, admittedly the dairy was not hard to cut out because of the GI side effects of the medication. 

My love of cheese is forever heartbroken.

But as for everything else, it took discipline, prayer and energy.

And tea. Lots and lots of tea. I drink turmeric and ginger tea every day. ( That's the Brit in me- also its great for low grade inflammation, another pain in the butt thanks to PCOS).

I prayed and continue to pray and ask every day for my health to be recovered.

And for everyone out here battling PCOS. I know it's hard, but it's definitely manageable once you have the right treatment and surround yourself with positive energy. 

If you have any tips and tricks to deal with this pesky syndrome, let me know! Sharing is caring!

Here's to a healthier world!

byNL

in #hangry #life #hungry #food #calories #sodium #carbs #fitness #training #lunch #trinidad #eating #love, 30 something, awareness, awkward, beautiful, beauty, bible, caribbean, confidence, dailylife, diet, exercise, fitness, glucophage, healing, health, insulin, PCOS, training, turmeric tea

September 07, 2017

PCOS

Follow my blog with Bloglovin PCOS is one of the most common hormonal endocrine disorders. It is so common, that many times people...

Read More

A Year Is Nothing

So now I am a part of this club that I never applied for, I always get the expected yet dreaded question:

"When did he die?"

"November."

"Almost a year."

Here is something you don't know until you become part of this club. Time is nothing, it still feels like a fresh wound pouring crimson blood onto the floor where my heart is.

The thing is, if you have not been through it, you do not understand.  You will not understand until you are told by a doctor that your loved one is going to die, and then you don't understand until you watch them take their last breath and you see in their eyes that this is the last goodbye.

I can say this openly because I was the person who thought I understood. Now I know I had no idea.

Heartbreak is real. It is this icy hot sensation that burns in your chest when you see your loved one's casket being rolled away for the last time.

Death is real.

Life is real.

Practicing empathy is a beautiful thing, but if you can't do it, do not fake it.

Show your true emotion and don't be present.

Step to the side and allow those who are genuine to be that person's shoulder.

byNL

in 30 something, awareness, awkward, beauty, caribbean, change, confidence, culture, dailylife, depression, development, friendship, healing, health., journey, joy, kind

August 28, 2017

A Year Is Nothing

So now I am a part of this club that I never applied for, I always get the expected yet dreaded question: "When did he die?" ...

Read More

The Curse of the loose tongue.

There is nothing worse than people who talk too much. You know those people that you try to discreetly move away from so that you can make a quick exit before they realise.

Years have brought numerous expressions that highlight this trait as a sign of weakness...'Empty vessels make the most noise' was a statement I grew up with, so much so it is part of language.

Sometimes I ask God to put his hand over my mouth, to learn humility and patience to deal with those whose mouths run as though there is no safety valve on  a water main.

Trinidad and Tobago is a society famous for a nation that likes to 'maco' (get involved in,eavesdrop,ask about other peoples lives,business etc). It is the norm to see curtains discreetly pushed aside as a face pops out to see who come to visit who across the street, what time the neighbour got home, who works where etc.

An old friend in passing said to me '..once you have a drop of Trini blood in you ,its other peoples business and bachannal on yuh mind'.

We all have that friend, the one who knows what is going on before the rest of the circle does, who can tell you what you are going to do before it gets done.

While it brings a unique and flavourful twist to friendship and life its important to remember that which has been proven time and time again, regardless creed, colour and race, those who gossip with you, will gossip without you....don't make the mistake to believe you can break the mould or be the exception.

Life lesson:

Spend more time focusing on you, than others around you, give and it will come back to you, karma if you want to call it that WILL deal with all those who feign humility yet live in hypocrisy.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE

Image Courtesy www.checkoutmyink.com

byNL

in bachannal, beauty, confidence, humility, karma, life lessons, love, patience, respect, self worth., wisdom

September 04, 2012

The Curse of the loose tongue.

There is nothing worse than people who talk too much. You know those people that you try to discreetly move away from so that you can make ...

Read More