Today, a girlfriend and I ventured to a Zumba class at our Community Centre. Being a lover of all things latin and spanish, I was counting down to the music being pumped up.

What an experience. There were six of us in the class. Four of us in our twenties, one lady roughly forties and a gentleman, perhaps fifties.

When I arrived I did not dare venture up to the studio. I sat outside and waited for my girlfriend to arrive. I felt like it was the first day of school. People milled around, a friendly lady passed and asked "Are you hear to Zumba?". My normal sarcasm screamed inwardly " No, I'm standing here in workout clothes for a shoot and ur blocking the light". Instead I smiled and "Yes" barely escaped my lips.

Eventually she arrived and we ventured upstairs. To find the instructor and same lady smiling. The instructor gave me a hug. I didn't know how to react. I was taken aback by such an open display of friendliness.  The scenario replayed in my head throughout the class. "Perhaps I have been associating with too many a**holes and this is normal?" I thought as I tried to do some reggaeton shake mixed with a desperate "chest pop" (if that is what it's called).

I watched the lady at the front ( Miss Forty). She barely paid attention to the moves and was smiling from ear to ear. The gentleman booty popped, and did the salsa, swaying with his imaginary partner like there was no tomorrow. While the rest of us were still learning, he had all the moves down like he was the instructor himself, the first 5 minutes in he was breaking a sweat like I don't know what.

After the first ten minutes, all inhibitions flew out the window, and I was poppin, doing some shoulder movement, thrusts and gyrations like no tomorrow. Sweat poured and stress seemed to be lost. We laughed and danced , embraced our sexy side with some 'tude and sauntered around like we were in a video (I daresay it did not look the way it felt!)

The instructor was great. She made the six of us feel like we were the most important people ever. She beamed as we all flailed around a bit awkwardly. All in our own world, but focused (at least a few of us were) on her.

She deserves a medal. Hardly anyone turned up, but she pumped it like there was no tomorrow.

I think I love zumba, this shaking your hips thing and the clothes. I need some more of it.

byNL
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May 28, 2014

The Zumba Experience

Today, a girlfriend and I ventured to a Zumba class at our Community Centre. Being a lover of all things latin and spanish, I was counting d...
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Apparently all my friend's ovaries are screaming. Mine on the other hand prefer no comment.

Recently my best friend had a beautiful baby girl. We all stood around and marvelled at this "tiny human being" as one of our friend's calls her. She has pretty fingernails, pretty feet, she is just gorgeous!

So it lead me to look around and observe everyone.Where has this baby phenomena developed from and did I miss the hormone hand out when it passed?

Its like a mass cloud of must pro creation dust appeared and dumped over all my 20+ plus friends. All of a sudden conversations have turned from business and school to " Should I do waitlist registration for pre and primary school?", hearty exchanges of who is walking, not walking, pampers and university funds. You look at them all in wonder and slight awe, its amazing to see the transformation from girl to mother and one day maybe the Hormone Godmother may throw some magic dust my way, not now.

Does that make me selfish? According to some just saying "yes" is not enough, perhaps having it on a live ticker would be better, on a billboard.. heck a television ad would probably be the best thing. Sorry, I am still far too concerned with school, my extensions, my on and off struggle with weight. I still wake up every morning and check my phone with one eye open. I need coffee before I am socially acceptable to interact with. I am still deciding between yoga or a light jog.

I am still understanding who I am. Recently a friend sent me an article from a blog, where the author asked readers over 40 to voice things they wish they had been told when they were younger. There was the need to save for retirement, rainy day and health. However one response struck me in particular.

No one knows what they are doing.

What?

I remember re reading the paragraph with glee, dismay and confusion at the same time. So no one truly has their s**t together? And the classic, do not believe people who say they do. Everyone has doubt.

I think if I could have done flips, I would have done. I am not alone! Not saying I do not have vision, I still fight towards it daily, making small changes, big changes, closing doors and opening books.

But no one is perfect, it is not a disclaimer, it is reality. So while people play charades and parade around in their daily life, I will continue to make mistakes, try my best, sometimes feel like giving up, wonder what the hell I am doing, drink, smoke and be blunt.

Feel free to advertise.



byNL
in
May 24, 2014

The 30 Approach

Apparently all my friend's ovaries are screaming. Mine on the other hand prefer no comment. Recently my best friend had a beautiful...
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There was a time I never wanted to grow up.I defined growing up as I saw it happening around me. All of a sudden all my friends started getting married and having babies, our conversations had turned from what clubs we would be hitting Wednesday to Sunday and the woes of studying to wedding planning and babies.

I realised later on, babies and marriage for some was not really growing up, and believing it was,was not growing up, it was merely falling into the facade of" this is what society says I should do now because I am in my mid twenties, pushing 30 and whatever". They still have the same relationship problems they did before,and the ring on the finger, the multiple babies had not changed a thing.Why? Nothing changed, emotional maturity did not magically appear because these things occurred and the foundation of all these institutions adopted was unstable, the relationship.

Growing up is not about settling down because it is that time and playing house. Nor is it about accommodating insecurities and allowing them to control you. Growing up is about developing you before throwing yourself into it all out. So many sit down in situations and massage egos, give the continuous blind eye and wonder 20 years if not months down the road why they are unhappy and spend more time trying to fix it than themselves. Loyalty is used and misconstrued to cover a multitude of sins, cycles continue out of fear of the unknown, for the preference of a safety net and most of all insecurity. You know that word everyone likes to use in third person, but shy away from the first?

Have you seen the new anti-smoking advertisement on television, that shows cigarettes are bullies? As a smoker it hit home to me, because it is true. Insecurity is no different, we allow it to control us and find ways to validate it, such as loyalty and commitment, and not the truth, the weakness of the mind and lack of self love.

Growing up is no longer marred by fear of being tied to one person, nor babies and responsibility. It is a beautiful journey of self discovery, letting go of fears and continued self development. Letting go of toxicity and recognising that all those things we once found as attractive now fall by the way side, that its okay to let go of what does not compliment and support your growth, because discovering that which does, not only makes you blossom, you are happier, stronger , successful and growing up.
byNL
in
March 15, 2014

The "I'm Grown Up" Facade

There was a time I never wanted to grow up.I defined growing up as I saw it happening around me. All of a sudden all my friends started get...
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There is nothing more exciting yet intimidating as the first day of school. You can be 5, 12, even in your twenties, the same thoughts still mill around in your brain, will I know anyone who is there?Will I make friends?

School in Trinidad at  five years old was still better than being at school in the United Kingdom. I was elated when I got dressed for my first day. Instead of having seasonal uniforms, I would now be wearing a simple pleated skirt and a white shirt. No more blue summer dress, with a straw boater and striped blazer!

I woke up early, and prepared for the auspicious day ahead. Everything was brand new, my shirt and skirt had been laundered and ironed to perfection, not a crease nor a pleat out of place. My hair was combed into two bunches (also known as pigtails).

Excited yet nervous, with a wave of emotions I ventured off for my first day. The first thing that struck me was the size of the school. I remember trying to look past the playground and down the hill to see where the rest of it was. 

Soon I came to find that was it. A two building school housing roughly 60 people (if so many) was my new school.

As if it was not enough, the second shock came when everyones outfits caught my eye. Everyone was in denim shorts, tee shirts and sneakers! There was no one in cute skirts, knee high socks and sandals like me. 

I hated it. I may as well have been back in England walking around the courtyard perimeter at break times. Better the devil you know than the one you do not.

Always wanting to be a chameleon of sorts, I felt like an outcast.  I heard whispers and comments and did what I do best, retreated into myself and away from the new world.  

What should have been on and off, turned into quite  learning experience as a child. I used to countdown to hometime, to retreat into my comfort zone, swim and watch television. Though thrilled with island life,a few months in, I was ready to go back to what I knew, what really was home.
byNL
in
March 15, 2014

A Journey of Little Footsteps:New School

There is nothing more exciting yet intimidating as the first day of school. You can be 5, 12, even in your twenties, the same thoughts stil...
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I fell into the Scandal trap! Currently on my second episode and I cannot decide whether to keep blogging from my mobile or watch!

One eye on the tv and another on my mobile, why did I avoid this show? Maybe my lack of television love, or is it because it is a bit too close to the bone, or for comfort.

I can do without the heartbreaking affair,  but I will take everything else that's by her side.

From Olivia Pope's cold yet passionate demeanor, her fabulous wardrobe, to her sordid love affair, how can one not ne hooked? Did I mention I am going to be pulling all night study sessions for law school with renewed vigor. 

Cheers to the creators of this television show. It is a fantastic break from the newly monotonous world of books, but it begs the question... how much of the "real world" can we humans handle, and leaves room for the mind to wander past morale and conciousness, to the conspiracies of what really happens behind closed doors of these institutions.

What a brilliant guilty pleasure.

Pop Culture,  it is practically orgasmic.

byNL
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February 17, 2014

That Scandalous Enticement

I fell into the Scandal trap! Currently on my second episode and I cannot decide whether to keep blogging from my mobile or watch! One eye ...
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Recently you cannot move for online articles expressing the glory of enjoying your 20's and being the curious 20 something year old, I opted to try some new things....

Now I have done the "date someone completely wrong for you". Absolute disaster, and it begs the following:


 I have done the "Eat whatever you want!" ............My A** !!!!!!

Recently though I came across an invitation from a friend to a Society Dinner.

Looked like a bit of good fun and why not, so with my boyfriend along for the ride we attended said dinner.

Good fun translated too, are we over dressed? Followed by well let's eat the food!

Talk about thrown into an awkward situation at a few points, when the lights went out for the presentation I could have tap danced on the damn table.

When the lights came up, and we both got our needed share of "bep" (light sleep) and they announced the outside display, we zipped outside and got to the good stuff, Astro-photography, viewing the Moon and Jupiter. We were sorely disappointed the skies did not clear for the recent Super Nova viewing but all in all it was an experience............that can be ticked off the list, and next time we know the following:

1. Skip the Dinner.
2. Wear flip flops or sneakers or anything else that is comfortable.
3. Do not try to bep without having back support.
4. Appreciate that we do not all use the universal pronunciation of words, and try not to snicker, unless you really could not care less (if so good for you!).
5. Do not forget insect repellent. (Scars!)

Definitely one for the books.





byNL
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February 12, 2014

Thing's We Do: 20's

Recently you cannot move for online articles expressing the glory of enjoying your 20's and being the curious 20 something year old, I ...
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A few days ago our nation cried in shame, mothers held onto their children paralyzed in fear yet again. This time, it was a fifteen year old mother...yes MOTHER, shot dead while out with her companion (father of her child).

Now there is no intention here to berate, admonish nor belittle the mother of this young mother. After the child's ( 15 is a child, no?) death, her mother was on local news, speaking of the initial shock at her child's pregnancy, but later on lauding her daughter for being a responsible mother.

The question is, where does it end and who is at fault with this phenomena of children having children. Where are the values of the earlier generations? Have they dissolved into the background, taken over by technology and the YOLO (You Only Live Once) mentality?

It isn't uncommon to see young women, barely twenty one with a babe in arms and another on the hip. Speak to some teachers who dare to share stories of their students in the government schools. Can you imagine a 16 year old informing their teacher that they wont be at school the following day for an exam because they cant afford to send their toddler to daycare! What a world to live in, robbed of innocence by poor guidance and poor education. Imagine those who have grown up and learnt that having a child is a form of income, as the state provides welfare for those mothers in need.

Where is sex education? In a nation that is predominantly "Christian" there is no sex education on the curriculum, yet a growing discomfort over the population increase with children having children.

Imagine being a fly on a wall in a primary school classroom, where a young boy and girl barely 10 years old are having sexual intercourse on break and lunch times. Imagine yourself again, picking up your nine year old from school and having to answer why your sons classmate asked him if she could 'sit on his face for a nice time'.

Where does it start and end, and do these parents and elders even recognize the values or lack thereof they are instilling in their young ones.  Is it cultural? Since when did it become acceptable to encourage your offspring and younger family generation to have children out of wedlock, when did education take the back burner and the desire to have a 'girl child' or 'boy child' become the number one priority!

I am ashamed for my country, and ashamed as a woman, to see the elder generation preach  the word of God, and call damnation upon those who wrong them, yet encourage such an immoral and present time oriented mentality. Where is the common sense and true love for humanity? If you really love your fellow man and want the development of a nation, wouldn't priority be to invest in the future of the younger generation, encourage education and the promotion of all round development, and not the roundness of a stomach.

Wake up Trinidad and Tobago, for now all you can do is hold your head in shame and see that the society is tantamount to the mentality you cling to, if you believe that your leaders are not setting the right example, one up them and do it yourself.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
byNL
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January 26, 2014

Children having Children.

A few days ago our nation cried in shame, mothers held onto their children paralyzed in fear yet again. This time, it was a fifteen year o...
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Today we live in a world where there is no room for want.  Everything is at your fingertips. Whatever you want or need is readily available.  You want groceries,  there's an app for that (and delivery too!). You want someone to lock your house and you're in another country, there's an app for that. You want to know how many calories are in that cracker, there's an app for that.......there is always an app!

The only thing there isn't an app for that accurately mirrors its physically process is human interaction.  Sure we have BBM , Viber, Tango, MSN, Whatsapp and countless other instant messaging applications available.  Now they allow you to chat via text, via voice and video. Everything to make life easier and all things more accessible.  But how positive is it?

When is the last time you sat down for breakfast, lunch, dinner or tea even and had the undivided attention of those in your presence. When is the last time you drove without a headset in your ears, or your phone on the steering wheel? Today is there more value placed on the apparatus in your hand, and the people on the receiving end, than those sitting opposite you?

Why is society falling apart, why are relationships, friendships and any other human relations falling apart, why is it easier to conform to society and take the easy way out? Or perhaps is it communicating the truth we refuse to spell out?

Check your messages.

I fear the day technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.

Albert Einstein

byNL
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October 29, 2013

Technology. Love it or Hate it.

Today we live in a world where there is no room for want.  Everything is at your fingertips. Whatever you want or need is readily available....
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I am no feminist.  Sad but true. I disagree with conforming to the societal norm re women must stay at home and men are sole breadwinners. But I agree with the concept that it is nice to be treated as a lady should be.  Yes we live in an age where a woman can more the provide for herself,  treat herself to a special dinner, splurge on that pair of shoes. But that shouldn't take away from the romance of being wined and dined,surprised and treated like the rare beautiful creature she is.

You know the saying "chivalry is dead", is it really? Or have we become victims of self created circumstance?

Whatever the case is, was or shall be.... one thing that should never be forgotten (and perhaps a woman's greatest virtue yet downfall) is that we are the stronger sex, highly favored by the universe, God and whatever higher being tickles your fancy. More precious than diamonds,  and just as strong.  Spread love.

byNL
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October 27, 2013

Women.

I am no feminist.  Sad but true. I disagree with conforming to the societal norm re women must stay at home and men are sole breadwinners. B...
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No words can explain this song....................One of the best.
#thatisALL
byNL
in
November 19, 2012

III Love Time

No words can explain this song....................One of the best. #thatisALL
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It has been a while since I have blogged, over the past few days Journey has been on my mind, this afternoon I heard a song that I have not heard in years... all the way back in roughly 2002/2003.


 The memories flow, and remind me of great times. Every moment, everyone is a blessing...............














*I do not own any rights to this song, kudos to the person who edited and uploaded.


byNL
in
November 09, 2012

Love Time II

It has been a while since I have blogged, over the past few days Journey has been on my mind, this afternoon I heard a song that I have not...
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