Gentle Reminders.

Do you remember when the 'Gratitude Challenge' was trending?

So Facebook memories have been popping up this week. In a way, it was the Universe directly smacking me over the head and saying, "Hi! You have a lot to be grateful for, even though you may not see it."

Admittedly I have spent years in and out of depression (as my previous posts hint at from time to time). But somehow I always managed to survive, and Facebook showed me how.

Every day I thought of something to be grateful for, that I have been blessed with. I thanked God for my health, even when my condition gave me hell. Thanked God for my family even when we had been to hell and back. Thanked God for friends. Thanked God for being able to go to school, the list is endless.

I realised, what I lost with Daddy was hope and I was robbed of my joy that had been eroding slowly over years of not taking control of my life.

And life without hope is a rabbit hole.

So as I go through life, getting on the mend. I decided to do the cliche yet highly effective positive challenge to myself.

Every day I am going to post on Instagram a word that is positive, reflects love, compassion, joy and hope.

This is my healing.

Sometimes we all need to realise, the only person who can fix you is yourself.

And getting help on the way is OK.

byUnknown

in

August 29, 2017

Gentle Reminders.

Do you remember when the 'Gratitude Challenge' was trending? So Facebook memories have been popping up this week. In a way, it w...

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A Year Is Nothing

So now I am a part of this club that I never applied for, I always get the expected yet dreaded question:

"When did he die?"

"November."

"Almost a year."

Here is something you don't know until you become part of this club. Time is nothing, it still feels like a fresh wound pouring crimson blood onto the floor where my heart is.

The thing is, if you have not been through it, you do not understand.  You will not understand until you are told by a doctor that your loved one is going to die, and then you don't understand until you watch them take their last breath and you see in their eyes that this is the last goodbye.

I can say this openly because I was the person who thought I understood. Now I know I had no idea.

Heartbreak is real. It is this icy hot sensation that burns in your chest when you see your loved one's casket being rolled away for the last time.

Death is real.

Life is real.

Practicing empathy is a beautiful thing, but if you can't do it, do not fake it.

Show your true emotion and don't be present.

Step to the side and allow those who are genuine to be that person's shoulder.

byUnknown

in 30 something, awareness, awkward, beauty, caribbean, change, confidence, culture, dailylife, depression, development, friendship, healing, health., journey, joy, kind

August 28, 2017

A Year Is Nothing

So now I am a part of this club that I never applied for, I always get the expected yet dreaded question: "When did he die?" ...

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Town Walks.

My mother gets vex with me.

Mostly because of my language. I retaliate by reminding her I am an adult. So whatever profanity may come, shall come.

Sometimes she will say, "I want to go in town" and I say "No".

Selfish reasons, yes!

You see, this is my typical walk in town.

"Psst"

"Reds"

"Family"

"Baby"

"You have a man?"


No response leads to:

"You feel you better than me or what?"

"You does sh*t ice cream!"

"F8Ck you na girl!"

"Watch she, feel she bess!"

Clearly I am fabulous if you take time out of your day to comment and then get upset because  I ignore you.

But sometimes you get polite men, who per me being brought up properly, I will respond "Good Morning" when they say good morning to me and wish me a good day.

Sometimes I get pissed, and tell them to Haul dey Mudda C*nt!

So mummy cannot walk with me in town.

byUnknown

in caribbean, catcalls, culture, cursing, daughter, family, harassment, island life, lunch, men, mother, mummy, profanity, relationships, sexual harassment, talking, Trinidad, walking, whistling, women

August 24, 2017

Town Walks.

My mother gets vex with me. Mostly because of my language. I retaliate by reminding her I am an adult. So whatever profanity may come, s...

Read More

Check Up!

So today I went for my monthly check up!

They checked my BP, weight etc. All the vitals, and then they delved into the scary abyss of the question deeper than the ocean...  How do you feel?

You know that moment when you have a million fleeting thoughts, but when put on the spot you go blank and say "I'm fine."

That did not happen to me today.

Today I was actually able to say what was going well and what was not. What I am still battling with.

Today I got a gentle reminder that it is okay to be depressed, but it is better to actually do something about it.

I spoke to one of the officers about how I felt.

He said:

"Be Present, Be Selfish."

That's my advice for today, a seed of wisdom I think is really worth a share.

byUnknown

in 30 something, depression, faith, family, friends, grief, healing, hospital, journey, mental illness, sel love

August 23, 2017

Check Up!

So today I went for my monthly check up! They checked my BP, weight etc. All the vitals, and then they delved into the scary abyss of the...

Read More