Last week Monday, I watched my
father die in front of my eyes. He gestured towards me, and then reached to
embrace my mother, then he was gone.
There are no words to explain how
this feels.
People send their condolences,
but unless they have been in the situation, they have no idea. In the space of
a week I have gone from being a 30-year-old who continuously complained about "adulting", to a 30-year-old who has come to accept that this is life, and life
is meant to be lived. I googled everything I could to help me work through this
grief, after all, I’m a millennial and that’s what we do.
Every article spoke of what people “don’t tell
you”, how to cope, that it is okay to cry, it is okay to be vulnerable. But no
article identified how it affects the grieving child’s life, from their outlook
on social circles to basic day to day tasks. In short, it changes absolutely
everything.
Basic day to day tasks now just
get done, there is no longer room for hesitation. Should I call the office now
and organise the appointment? YES. Procrastination has become a thing of the
past. There were times dishes would pile up in the sink and would get done
later, no more, it is now or never.
Patience has become allotted to
situations where patience is a necessity. No longer do I sit back and let
people have meaningless conversations via instant messaging, plaguing me with
excuses as to what, why, how and when. Most times they see a read message and a
polite end to the conversation.
Friendships have changed. I have
removed myself from those whose paths are no longer in sync with mine. I have
gained a keen insight (Thanks a lot Dad) and I am finally able to see many for
who they are. There is no hate nor animosity, it is a simple realization that
not everyone is meant to walk this path of life together.
I have learned that life is to be
lived and I am going to put down my phone. Yes, I will get the necessary
business done, work, bills and all that good stuff. But whatever held me back
from going on that trip, saying what I felt and standing up for myself died
with my father.
Finally, I can honestly say that
I can say NO. It was not something I learnt. It just happened. The loss changed
my perspective without me even realizing it until I saw myself react or not
react to situations and people and I know now that it is OK.
Natasha M. Lake
23.11.2016
byUnknown
in
November 23, 2016
My Father's Death: A Crash Course in Life Skills
Last week Monday, I watched my father die in front of my eyes. He gestured towards me, and then reached to embrace my mother, then he was ...
